Patricia's Positives

Patricia's Positives (37)

Hope you enjoy my blogs. They are my perceptions and perspectives on spirituality, health and wellness, positive mental attitude, relationships, and intuition. These are based on my many interviews over the years as well as my own experiences.  I welcome your comments.

How the Impact of Words in Our Political Campaigns Affect Our Lives

I am a student and practitioner of words. Words are critical in my work and I use them carefully. Words have great impact and I have watched words "burn in my brain" long after they have been uttered. Actions do speak louder than words but words are often the gateway to actions.
I have been an avid watcher of both the Democratic and Republication convention and was struck by several politicians from both parties who used the entire speech to bash the opposing candidate. Nothing was said about what can be done to move forward and take action by the party.
I have never seen this name calling and character bashing this accelerated. This is not about taking sides, this is about the use and abuse of free speech that hurts all of us. The negative energy produced by this rhetoric delivers negativity and darkness.
On the other hand, I have also been enlightened by several speeches at the convention that brought me feelings of pride and joy and lifted me up. These conversations centered around unity and working together. Personally, in order for me to feel hopeful, I have to know that there are concrete ways and action steps to move us in a positive direction.
We are fortunate to live in a country where we can exert freedom of speech. That is one of the hallmarks of freedom. But when it goes too far and speech becomes a weapon to demean, undermine and destroy, it hurts of all us and dampens our spirit, and that is dangerous. Our spirit is what keeps us alive and thriving.

The Power of Connection

There are many books written about connection with others. Lyrics in songs talk about the power of relationships. Among the primary relationships we have with parents, spouses, significant others and children, relationships with friends and acquaintances can not be underestimated.

I have been blessed with many friends with whom I can share and enjoy. I recently had a friend over for dinner and noted how attentive she was to what I was saying. She stayed with my explanations and visibly showed her care and love. As she was leaving I thanked her more than once for being there for me, listening, caring and truly sharing in my joy.

I think that what I have just described is a gift. This kind of connection with others is so important and something most of us need and want. When we get derailed somewhere in our relationships, it's through our miscommunications, silence, not expressing our needs and feelings, not reaching out, and our fear of getting to close.

So how do we achieve this connectedness? Is it something we can actively look for and seek? I think we have to be it first. What I mean is that we have to know that we can have these connections, be open ourselves so that others will feel it and be drawn to us. The saying "birds of a feather, flock together" is an example of this.
Like attracts like. So if you seek rich and full relationships, connection with others you interact with on a daily basis or for the first time, then set that example out in the world.

In my book Pathfinding, my father tells this story about his powerful connection with a stranger who helped him:
"In the mid-30's when I was in college, jobs were hard to find. One summer I was lucky to get a Saturday morning job from 6:00 a.m. to noon unloading banana boats in Boston. My first assignment involved carrying what they called a stalk of bananas from the hold of the ship up vertical steps to the processing area offshore.

The stalks were trimmed into hands for the bananas to be packaged for shipping. The weight of each stalk varied from forty to eighty pounds. They hung from the ceiling of the ship's hold in rows. Each of us would wear a rubber shoulder apron and stand beneath the next stalk. The man standing there would cut the string holding the stalk and it would drop onto your shoulder. Then burdened with the heavy stalk, you'd walk up the stairs to the processing areas.

It was backbreaking work. But I'll never forget the time it was my luck, or misfortune, to stand under an oversized stalk. I had difficulty carrying that load up the steps. I didn't think I would make it. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand took me by the seat of my pants and pushed me up the ladder until I could gain my balance and carry the load to the processing room. When I turned around to see who had given me that wonderful helpful hand, I looked directly into the face of a huge African-American man. At the time he had pushed me up the ladder, he was carrying his own load. I'll never forget the kind look on his face. It taught me to appreciate kindness wherever and from whomever I find it."

Stretching Our of Your Comfort Zone

Most of us are creatures of habit and don't like change. Change can be scary. But change is also a great opportunity for growth. When we have to make a change and do things differently, it doesn't feel good especially when we were comfortable with the way we were doing things before, even if it was not good for us.
Examples of this are having to change our eating habits, exercise routine, living environment, personal relationships, and the list goes on.

Here's what I have found personally about having to make changes that do not feel comfortable. It really makes me look at what is important to me and what is not. There are things about the change that I definitely like and want to keep, things about the change that make me evaluate what I have and how I have been doing things, and things that I definitely do not like and do not want to keep. It puts me right smack in the middle of myself, my true self, because it forces me to see that which I value and that which I can let go of.

I think that if we can see change as an opportunity to clarify our goals and dreams and values, then it is of great value to us, especially when we know that the change is necessary for personal, professional, financial or spiritual reasons. As we read about all the time, those who have made their dreams happen do it from trial and error and from making changes and risking to fail. We learn from our mistakes. That is not to say that change is easy. It isn't. It's much more comfortable to stay with what is familiar. The saying "the devil we know is better than the devil we don't" could be rephrased to "the devil we know is preventing us from the good we don't know yet."

How many people do you read about who have gone from failing relationships, jobs, health, and self-esteem to lives that are thriving? There are many. My advice on this is to give ourselves credit for the bold steps we take to break away from what is comfortable but not working in our lives.  We need to take baby steps and acknowledge each and every one of them. It's like climbing a mountain. If we look at the top from the bottom, the climb seems insurmountable. But if we take each step steadily, pause in the process and keep going, it's amazing how far we have come when we look back.

Acknowledgement of ourselves and our strengths is vital. The foundation is built upon our own self-esteem and worth. Without that, the foundation crumbles. We need to think things out, weigh possibilities and alternatives and foresee consequences.  Once we do that, we can make a clear decision based on the information we have now - not tomorrow. Then we can proceed without looking back.

Making the Right Decisions

We tend to get angry over the little things – the way someone says something, the item they forgot, the clothes they left on the floor, the dirty dishes in the sink, the item they forgot to get in the grocery store, to name a few.

Preventing Molehills From Becoming Mountains

We tend to get angry over the little things – the way someone says something, the item they forgot, the clothes they left on the floor, the dirty dishes in the sink, the item they forgot to get in the grocery store, to name a few.

What Neighbors Really Mean

If we believe in the concept of “six degrees of separation” that we are all connected. Those coincidences, serendipities, and chance happenings that come when we really need them are part of the connectedness we share.

How To Change Our 'Self-Talk'

We all have intuition which can guide us when we listen. But we also have those old voices that give us messages that do not serve us anymore and in fact, hinder our progress. These are the voices that say, “You won’t get that, the money won’t come in, this person will not hear me, or my body can’t heal.” These are the fearful inner voices that temporarily overtake our positive movement.

Knowing When to Listen and When To Speak

We all hear and we all listen but there is a big difference between the two in quality and quantity. When we hear, we hear words. When we are not paying attention, we hear sound. If we look attentive, we can often get away with not listening, but listening gives us and the person we are talking to something far greater.

How to Handle Life's Transitions

As we end one phase in our lives, a new one begins. And so it goes with life’s transitions. The challenge with transitions, exciting as they can be, is that we do not know what’s on the other side. It’s all new and change can be scary.

Kind Words and Deeds Make A Difference

Kind words always make a difference, but especially over the holidays. This is the season of giving and gifts go beyond things. Words and kind deeds mean as much and often more.

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